Sanoja: Deviates. My Life. Midline.

i need help i cant leave i cant breathe. i see my way out but
I'm in too deep to care. emotionless, i feel myself about to break.
self-destruction, self corruption, this life i know, this life i hate.
with each passing day my outlets slip away. i believe the lies and
i dig myself in deeper. i play a daily game of tug a war between
what's in my heart and what's on my mind, not weighing circumstances,
passing blindly by my chances knowing some day i might die. in the
silence of my nightmare noone else can hear me scream, noone else knows
what i need, noone else believes, i could die and not care. i need
something to set me free. reflections from my past that seem so unreal
to me, I'm out of touch i can no longer feel me, my heart is sick and
my mind is reeling. don't know myself, don't know why i still don't care
. I'm the only one that's paying, and I'm the only one that's playing.
the more i struggle the more i lose. i dig myself in deeper and still
don't care then the moment comes when you reach for my heart, i know
it's to hard to find